I just recently started up with some backed tournaments. Got a check on Monday and got started with the tournaments on Tuesday (and am using my own monies waiting for monies to transfer because I didn't want to wait). Thus far I've played 4 of these tournaments and have cashed (reasonably well) in one. There's a large luck factor in tournaments so it takes a large number of them to indicate how well you're doing.

That's a bit fun and exciting.

What's not fun and exciting is that I probably have to get a normal job to have a steady income and to make enough to cover my expenses. Since I was fired from my last job which was about the easiest job one could possibly find, I'm not feeling terribly good about finding another job. I dislike the corporate world, regular hours, how much most companies dislike people taking vacation and most of the bosses that I've had. We do what we have to do.

So, I guess I might have to change the blog title to I can believe that I'm not a poker pro.

It's kind of annoying because I only need about twice my current bankroll and my expenses for the month paid and this would work easily. I had some 4 months where I paid for all of my expenses and then some. Then I had a losing month and a month where I was about breakeven with expenses. Rebuilding a bankroll is a pain in the ass and difficult because you have to play lower limits than you're used to and you become less effective at a limit you don't play as often.

It's been the case with almost every professional that they've gone broke so at least I'm not alone. The stories of Phil Ivey, Barry Greenstein, and Howard Lederer are all tales of people that have gone broke multiple times in their path to becoming extremely good players. It might make me a better player eventually, but right now it just makes for very stressful and unpleasant times. Unless they read instructive works such as Gambling Theory and Other Topics, most people do not understand how much variance there is in poker and that you can be a strong player and still not do well for reasonable stretches of time.

Poker, if anything, is a great test of patience.

There's a bad habit that I have that has gotten me in to trouble, including recently. It has to do with bankroll management. The basic principle is that you don't want to risk too large a percentage of your bankroll at any given time. To do so tempts fate and invites the probable loss of your entire poker nut.

When I've been unlucky or been losing due to a bit overly aggressive play (particularly betting into idiots that can't fold top pair for any amount), I will sometimes instead of putting a reasonable amount of my bankroll on a table (5 percent if you ask Chris Ferguson if your poker nut is going toward living expenses), I put the max on the table. I was nicely ahead for a bit and then basically lost my entire profit by doing this recently.

It is find these overall strategic leaks, as well as playing properly that makes a person a winning player and not just a strong player.

Barry Greenstein's excellent work Ace on the River does an excellent job of expounding on not how to play, but how to win.

House of Horrors


OK, I just found something completely inappropriate for more sensitive readers.

Antonio Esfandiari now and forever more doesn't just put the tool in tooldom, he puts the tool in tool.

If you can handle it, read about his "super cool" secret club:

Rocks and Rings


And the twoplustwo.com forum's commentary on it is sort of funny too:

twoplustwoers love antonio

OK, I just came across this thing that was pretty funny.

Firstly, I need to give you a bit of background.

One most poker sites with some area of open communication (like built in chat software or a forum), there are always players convinced that a site is rigged. Typically, these players have no evidence except for selective memory and an unlucky run, often involving a runner, runner loss. A runner, runner is when the last 2 cards in a hand make someone the best hand. For instance let's say someone has 3s3d in their hand
and the flop is 3h, Ac, Th. If you went all in with the 33 (a set of 3s) and someone caught an ace on the turn and on the river to beat you, then it was a runner, runner bad beat. It's very improbable as a way to lose, usually something like 1 percent chance.

Anyway, these people are paranoid, but there's no real reason a poker site couldn't have some built in way in software of screwing people over. Why they would is certainly a serious consideration, but it's not impossible and there are reasons one could think up why sites might do something like this.

Ok, so with this backstory, I give you this, definitive proof of cheaters caught in action on partypoker.com. This was just an amazing investigation:

Da Proof

You guys are awesome!

I just wanted to thank everyone that read my blog over the past few weeks. I was pleasantly surprised how many people checked it out. I know my writing isn't terrible, but I also know I tend to go on and on and on...


As a reward to the readers, here's a funny quote from Stu Ungar demonstrating the gambling aspect of the personality of many pro poker players:

(from Poker: Bluffs and Bad Beats by A. Alvarez)

Ungar had just won a huge event. A reporter asked him what he'd do with all that
money. He started talking about a college fund for any kids he'd have, or investments
but started giggling uncontrollably. "Aw heck, I'm just going to piss it
away gambling!!!" he laughed.

A New Beginning All Over Again

People have this mistaken impression that playing poker is all fun and games. If you read this entry, you might get some understanding about how completely fallacious that idea is.

Let me begin with a great quote I came across from Stu Ungar, one of the most talented players of all time:


"It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter."
Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion


So, obviously haven't posted in a while, but that's mainly because nothing that interesting has happened. I turned 30 two days ago, but it's otherwise been largely uneventful.

Still trying to get my backer to help me get into some higher buy in tournaments. I missed the 3rd 1000 buy in online tournament on pokerroom.com that lasts two days. Disappointing.

I've had a frustrating time with poker, playing the best I've played and with near the worst results. I completely lost my poker bankroll (boo) and had to borrow money from relatives (boo, but nice to have relatives that are helpful, caring and all that). If you read about the pros, you'll find most of them lost everything multiple times in their careers. Many of them (as shared with me by my buddy Joshua) have also gone through periods of running extremely bad. This description basically means they suffered numerous bad beats, lost every raise (pair versus 2 overcards) and had generally bad luck. So, I'm not alone, but it was basically a soul-crushing experience. I've gone through it and am basically over it, but I was extremely unhappy for a while there.

It's just incredibly disappointing to lose large amounts of your bankroll, especially when you've had past great success on the same web sites and when you're playing better than you ever had, losing to way more bad beats (a sign you're outplaying your opponents as you're getting your money in with the best hand).

I took a break from poker for a bit, partly to get my head straight and partly to allow neteller the necessary days for my EFT to go through so I could play without paying interest on a very quick money transfer. :P I find that even if I feel normal, I'm close to going off after a series of crappy events in poker and that taking a breaking really clears things out a bit making way for new crappy events to pile up for a while before I freak out. You gotta hate blaming bad results on luck because it just makes you look complainy and like you're not taking responsibility for your losses. And with so many clueless players out there, how can you possibly lose?

This story here:

Story of FloydtheWall

was surprisingly helpful in putting my mind in a better place about poker and giving me some more responsible gambling concepts with which to work.

I've gotten over the disappointment and am now working on better bankroll management (which has been part of the problem in the past). The little gambler in me still likes the excitement of playing at higher stakes for its greater potential reward. It's difficult to play good poker when your bills depend on it and you're constantly taking money out of an active bankroll to pay for expenses. It's about the most stressful way of living I could have walked into.

I'm also going to work on a more consistent schedule of play again. I used to wake up around 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and do 3 sessions, one after "breakfast," one after a dinner/reading break of 1-4 hours, and one after at least an hour break taking me well into the night (when the worst players appear on this one site I play). I was much more sucessful with this consistent schedule than I was with a much more chaotic schedule dependent upon winning. Trying to win sometimes leads you into extended sessions of sub par play late into the night trying to recoup losses. Just play well and the winning (in the long term) will take care of itself.

Anyway, I've thrown cash on 2 sites to get some bonus, one site tied in with some group that will give you free money to play with should you do well in the first month trial period. Both of these sites use the same player pools (and software) as other sites I've played out so I'm familiar with them and have notes on many of the players I come across since I've played with them in the past. It's called different skins. Partypoker has like 6 skins at minimum, pokerroom.com has 3 that I know of, Prima's network has like 20. Small gains thus far in today's play.